Dear shakti,

I was speaking to a close friend, and the question came up; isn’t self-improvement, in some ways selfish. My friend is very accomplished, and maybe he feels like it’s time to ‘give back’. But this left me feeling confused, what if self-improvement is actually self-realization – is it then not ‘selfish’ and therefore helping the greater good of humanity? Does his self-improvement feel selfish because it is perhaps tied to his ego and not to the openess to some other power that inspires creation and accomplishment, which is not really ours to begin with…Does this mean that I shouldn’t learn guitar because I should be trying to help others? How do I know if what I’m doing (even this idea of self-realization of becoming one with everything) is ‘selfish’? Thank you shakti, any response would be much appreciated.

shakti’s response is below in red.

shakti wrote:

Do not mix up self-improvement with self-realization. Self-improvement means you are upgrading the self to a better self (better from the self’s point of view not from an absolute point of view as there is no such a thing)

In self-realization you don’t become better from what you were – you are transformed to another self, the higher self, that contains your old small self and all the other selves that exist within you and outside of you.

Self-improvement is when the caterpillar becomes a better caterpillar, maybe faster or fatter or bigger or more beautiful. Self- realization is when the caterpillar is transformed to a butterfly.

All our actions arise from being selfish, from having a cheesecake to satisfy our sweet tooth, to reaching out for realization to free ourselves from suffering.

The definition in the dictionary for selfish is “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.”

Now you are going to jump to the ceiling…

Our dearest mother Theresa was one of the most selfish people of all.

She fits perfectly with the above definition.

She devoted her life to fulfilling ‘her deep desire’ to help people in need.
She was ‘concerned primarily with her interest’ to feed the poor
She received ‘benefits’ from hugging those that were unloved.
And she did it ‘regardless’ of others’ opinion and ideas of how one should conduct their life.

It is very semantic to think there is a selfish and non-selfish state.

So what makes Mother Teresa so outstanding as a human being as well as Jesus or Buddha?

Their selfishness arose from a state of oneness; not from being separate from everything around them.

By the way, asking the above question is very selfish thing as you wish to satisfy YOUR curiosity:)

So if your friend “feels like it’s time to ‘give back’? and he will fulfill this wish, again, he will fulfill his self’s desire, concern, interest needs etc.

You wrote: “Does his self-improvement feel selfish because it is perhaps tied to his ego….?

shakti wrote:
No he feels selfish because he falls into perceptions and concepts that are all rising from the ‘separation’ experience of I am, you are.

Helping yourself is helping the universe as long as you do not see yourself as separate from the universe.

Even on the airplane you are asked in an emergency to first put the oxygen mask on your face before you help anyone else; even a small child. It sounds super selfish but it makes sense. If you do not help yourself you can not help anyone else.

You wrote: I shouldn’t learn guitar because I should be trying to help others?

shakti wrote:
Let’s play a game and see how playing a guitar can help others.

You will need to get a guitar that has been created by someone that makes a living off it.

If someone gives you the guitar as a gift you create an opportunity for some one to practice sharing.

If you take a lesson from a teacher you help someone to make a living, if a friend teaches you, you allow him to fulfill his giving nature.

And maybe one day when you play the guitar you will open someone’s heart with warm feelings that will influence her state of being. Maybe one day you will play the guitar to a child that will smile. The child is the world.

shakti

The following is a question from a student; ‘Which way should I go next’, regarding their meditation. shakti’s response is below in red.I’ve been a student at Prana for sometime now, and have been looking forward to asking you a question for the past while. Our paths don’t seem to cross at the studio, so I’m grateful for your question board here.

My question is regarding meditation. Specifically, what way should I go next?

I came on my personal meditation quite by accident, after having attended your studio as a rank beginner for perhaps a year. It was in the context of several transformative events occurring within a pretty short time.

After discussing yoga with my dad, he had shared that as a younger boy he would go bed at night and allow himself to become very relaxed, to the point of feeling like he’d “almost start floating from the bed” – a quite startling disclosure from my typically atheistic father. To me it seemed quite obvious what was happening. I thought on it for some months, then one night went to bed with my intent fixed. I closed my eyes, concentrating on my breathing and within no more than 5 or 10 minutes found myself high in the room looking down upon myself still lying in bed. Needless to say, this was a powerful experience that impacted me both personally and spiritually. But its also something I seemed to do despite myself. I never even considered any portion of what I did ‘meditation’ until a friend described it as such.

It’s been a little over two years since that time. There were several other experiences around that time as well, but shortly thereafter the more intense moments subsided. I’ve continued to explore things on my own - by meditating at home, remaining after yoga classes for some time with my own meditations, reading about various techniques, and creating more time in my life for these pursuits. The time I’ve put into meditation I have enjoyed and will continue with, but I’ve been very disappointed with any reading I’ve done regarding techniques or directions.

The books I keep finding seem to be written for people who are little more uncertain about themselves than I am, and I’m just not finding that they are offering what I’m looking for. I am VERY far from perfect, but in truth I’m pretty aware of where my challenges lie and I work on those areas in earnest each day. On the positive side of things, I’ve found Daniel’s yoga Nidra classes enormously fulfilling, and they seem to indicate to me that there might be some other avenues out there that I can pursue.

Is there anything you can suggest?

Thanks for your time.

shakti’s response is below.

You wrote: My question is regarding meditation. Specifically, what way should I go next?

shakti wrote: First let’s define meditation, as often people take its definition far away from its content for the sake of romanticism and dramaticism. Meditation means awareness. The practice of meditation is the practice of expanding our awareness until we experience reality as it is.

You wrote: It’s been a little over two years since that time. There were several other experiences around that time as well, but shortly thereafter the more intense moments subsided.

shakti wrote: So if you are aware of the smell of the grass on a rainy day, of the motion of the stars in the sky or of your breath as you lay in bed; it is all the same. The mind will evaluate the different experiences and score highly, the ones that are the most entertaining to the small self. This leads to expectations for a repetition of favorite spiritual experiences. Expectations will naturally lead to disappointment if they are not fulfilled. Trying to direct the outcome of the practice of meditation will limit the experience as one is trying to get something out of it instead of ‘being’ it.

You wrote: But I’ve been very disappointed with any reading I’ve done regarding techniques or directions.

shakti wrote: The reason for your disappointment is your expectation to find the absolute answer, truth, trick or tool that will get you ‘there’. Drop the books and move to your own experience. Observe and be. Drop all ‘aiming’ as it will just sway you away from the moment. Books are good as a start manual to assure you that you are not the only crazy one on this planet dealing with a deceiving mind. But you can not keep going forever and live off others’ experiences. People read ‘the autobiography of a yogi’ by the great yogananda and try to have the same experiences as he had. It takes braveness to take off on your own authentic spiritual journey.

You wrote: The books I keep finding seem to be written for people who are little more uncertain about themselves than I am, and I’m just not finding that they are offering what I’m looking for.

shakti wrote: The question is – are you clear on what you are looking for? Maybe by defining it precisely you will reveal it, as it is all already here and now.A Zen story tells about a seeker who traveled on his horse for many days through many countries, through mountains and valleys, to meet with a renowned master.Upon arriving at the isolated cave of the master, he got off his horse and knocked on the wooden door. The old master answered the door, asking the seeker what he wanted.

The traveler answered, ‘I am looking for realization.’

The master asked, ‘Why are you not looking for a horse?’

The man looked at him with surprise and replied irritably, ‘Why do I need to look for a horse, when I already have one?’ The master smiled softly and turned back to his cave, closing the door.

What a waste of time it is, to reach out for something when it is what you have and are already. It is not about getting realization; it is about revealing it.

I would like to share with you the response of Mary, our College Coordinator, to your email. She is a brilliant entity in an unordinary way. When I asked Mary what she thought your question was, she replied:

shakti wrote: Below are some questions that your words raised in her mind.

Mary wrote: Is she looking for a book to affirm what she knows? If the simplest instructions are good enough for Buddha, why not for her, is this ego? Is she caught up in evaluating? Does she perhaps just need to choose a way to meditate, and let it be? Would it help to tell her that she is ‘clinging’ onto the experience that she had at one point and this is one of the biggest detours on the ‘pathless path’. Possibly, it’s good to know that all is one – reading a hundred books that don’t resonate, might be what take her to a place of experiencing the moment, and this blog is just one more link in the chain. Well, all of these questions are a projection of my own confusion, but possibly it reflects what would be helpful to answer for her?

love, shakti

Becoming the Observer

A comment on “Letting go of your need”, with shakti’s response below in red.

How do we do this shakti? I understand it on an intellectual level, but HOW do you get beyond? With our practise? With our meditation?

I have situations in my life where I would love to rise about the habit patterns of my mind, but find it very difficult to not “feel” – what makes you get to the point where you are not “feeling” the emotion? I don’t seem to be able to just tell myself “stop” – as it is a physical sensation!

How do we do this shakti?

shakti -
By not doing. You see, most of the time we think that change will take place by doing something different then what we are currently doing. On the spiritual dimension things work a bit differently. It is not the doing, it is the observation of the actions, feelings and thoughts that need to be developed and then the perception of all of it needs to be modified.

I have situations in my life where I would love to rise about the habit patterns of my mind, but find it very difficult to not “feel” – what makes you get to the point where you are not “feeling” the emotion?

shakti -
You always will feel the emotions, but not you. It is your mind, your body, your cells that are feeling. The feelings you are talking about are rising and dissolving in the physical body, in the cells in the brain. As they come and go they change the cells’ structure, the nervous system as well as your appearance and immune system. This is why it is felt as
‘physical sensation!’ because that is what it is.
The question is, who or what is the observer,that is observing it as a
‘physical sensation!’ If you were the physical or the sensation you wouldn’t observe it, you would simply be it. Can you see it? Do you get it? Your power is by watching, you are watching it; you are not it.
It is easy to experience it while watching a movie. You may ‘feel’ emotion for the character on the screen, she is in danger. You deeply feel for her. Will you jump to the screen and save her or will you STOP yourself because you are aware that you are the observer. You are still feeling the emotions in your body; you may cry of sadness or feel your stomach if you are afraid but you will probably keep eating your popcorn.

I don’t seem to be able to just tell myself “stop” – as it is a physical sensation!

shakti -
This shows you that there are moments in life where you are feeling deeply, and yet, without stopping the feelings you still make a choice of your actions.

So now let’s convert the above spiritual blarb to practical living-understanding and hopefully living-experience.

Let’s say you feel angry. (Feel free to replace anger with any other emotions you are in favor of). Most people, when their anger rises in their mind and their body it takes over and consumes the observer. As a consequence what left is pure emotion-in-action which leads us to reaction, (the most undesirable state in spirituality). This is equal to feeling angry in the theater and jumping to the screen to punch the bad character.

Sooooo the bridge to the observer is often a good deep breath, by doing so, you are awakening the observer. Being ‘outside’ of the emotion you have the time to change your perception about the moment (My anger is not because of him it is because I am in fear etc.) as well, you have the choice of how and to where to direct this energy.

First you start by doing it in your sitting meditation. You are still and quiet and yet you may feel angry about last night’s conversation with your partner. You feel it in your stomach, in your facial muscles. It is obvious that the emotions you feel right now have nothing to do with reality as it is; as you are sitting in meditation but still feel irrelevant feelings to the moment. In the time of meditation we develop our observer ‘muscles’ so that later on, in daily moments, the observer is strong enough to stay outside of the feelings and the emotions. Only in this state will you make the right choices in each moment. Otherwise if there is no connection with the observer you will move on reaction to the other, exhausting all your energy sources, becoming drained and feeling hopeless.

You can do it.

When you become the observer you become free.
You own your emotions, they do not own you.

Love shakti